A man walks into a bar and says "ouch."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Susie has Autism

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Joay impistato is a fig

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops