A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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hey guys check out my cool youtube video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivQ_bezJjK0

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Whats sad about 4 black guys in a cadillac driving over a cliff? A cadillac seats 5

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Bloody kids ...

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops