Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Hi

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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