What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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Hey

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Johnson stops eating

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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