Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

like for a handjob.

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

Where's my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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