Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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what happens during a climax apples

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Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

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A man walks up to a dead baby. The baby is dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops