That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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