- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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9/11/2001

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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