Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

the

Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

9/11

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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