Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

Womens' rights.

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

I have no ideas.

Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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