What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Penis

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Womens' rights.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops