Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What is cold? Winter

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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