What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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The Holocaust

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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