How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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2 dogs one jar of peanut butter

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Joe Biden

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Land Rovers

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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What do you call a pack of black people. Nothing you racist -_-

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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