How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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The Bible

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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Hashtag

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops