How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Obama

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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