What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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A guy walks into a bar and says "hey can I get a strong drink" and the bartender says "no we don't allow blacks in this bar" and he was then pushed to the ground and thrown out.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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