What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

you

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

You want to hear a joke? Democract

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

Where is my tractor?

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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