What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Moral Man Solid V: The Pain Phantom.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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the

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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wanna hear a joke? not really

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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