Can I touch it?

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Farts smell bad!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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