Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...