Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the clock say? The time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The 19th Amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +8

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops