What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops