A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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What do you call a person with no life. Dead.

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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test

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Humpdy dumpty sat on a wall and enjoyed his day off

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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