Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why was Timmy sad?

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27

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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