A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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"Up to 50% off."

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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Take my wife- to the store.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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The 19th Amendment

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops