Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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(Pretend that your adopted, and no one loves you) Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Ha

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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A man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is crippling his family.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A Banana wrote this...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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