A baby seal walks into a club.

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Thank you for booking with Anti-Joke Travel Agency. Here is your trip itinerary: 1. Your toilet

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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1234 5

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Knock Knock Come in

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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