Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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