Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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Why was Timmy sad?

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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What is a question?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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