how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Women's Rights

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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Meow.

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What is green and is a dub dub. A green dub dub.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Kah-________-

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops