What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Woman's rights

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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asparagus

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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What's White and can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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