A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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asian drivers.

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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How did the boy fly? he had wings.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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anne hatthaway

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Homework.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops