I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What is a question?

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Knock Knock Come in

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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¿melano?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops