What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

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27

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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What is a question?

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Knock Knock Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops