How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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ugh good riddance

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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2 women were sitting quietly

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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A seal walks into a club.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Women Voting

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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The Bible

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Alex Eggbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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