Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Knock Knock!" "Who's Their?" "Mew" "Mew Who?" "Mew Two Stupid! Get yo Pokemon FACTS Right!" "Mew Two Proceeds to walk away in distress"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops