What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

Christians pornstars.

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

Yes, finally caught that mouse!

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

BWAT

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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