Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did Timmy stop running? He got hit by a bus

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops