When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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How did th-A fridge.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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