What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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What's funny about 9/11? All of it.

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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