What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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test

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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