did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Hi.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

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Gestapo.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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