What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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