How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

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cms.......?????

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops