Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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