Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Gabe Mercado

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

lick my ballsack.... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where's my shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops