can't wait until the baby boomers die

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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why did model 602734 have tests? he didn't

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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women

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Why did the asian die? he was driving

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why you so fat... Because you have an eating problem fatass...

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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