Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Do you need any assistance?

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Woman's rights.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops