Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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b

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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what do you call a black man named mike

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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