a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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